I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. It dawned upon me that I'm yet again headed to another school within the next hour to deliver content and alter mindsets to one that's healthy.
Yet how many really want to have that change? Am I fighting empty targets?
Work has certainly caught up with me. And I'm losing my friends.
Because unique individuals had once crossed your path, stayed slightly longer and therefore, they become your 'better friends'. Some have expectations, some Demands. Some simply stay there because they enjoy you for who you are. Some walk out of you because they found pillars elsewhere.
At this point in time, how I wish I'm still studying. How I wish I can manage time, people and do what I know is right. But I'm no longer in that position of privilege. I realised it does take two hands to clap. Even snapping requires two fingers.
Can I also emo? Please?
No, I'm old enough to manage my emotions than to be swayed by the words of others. I do not have to resort to justifying my actions by altering my perspectives. Because if I do, everything becomes subjective. Nothing concrete. In fact, the only concrete fact is a struggle and a fear, that will eventually haunt you once more if not dealt with.
There is a need to fight. Not take flight.
Do you really mean it when you want to catch up with me over a meal?
Or has it become one of those "hi! how are you? good...bye".
Tell you what, let's drop that idea.
I'll just play with Quiche.