Sustainability

Chinese New Year celebration is finally over, at least for me.

There are many outside this door that are busy clashing those tiles and making me stay awake to get this out. ROAR. I wish I can talk them to sleep.

It has been a fairly decent amount of rest I had over the last few days with special mention to the afternoon nap (everyone go WOW!) I caught on CNY Day 2. Afternoon naps, it's a rare commodity in my room. So rare I almost forgot how to fall asleep in the afternoon.

Apologies Mr. Ang, couldn't join you. The foul mouth was at work. I just needed to sleep. Not much of a choice, I can't change a thing about it can I? In fact, I have to live with it. :)

And so, the search continues. Rather, the 'wait' continues. I am being so patient. In fact, I'm confident about the next move. It's a matter of time. The feeling of 'eargh' has grown stronger over the last few days. The sense of disconnect has grown too. But I am sure He will provide an open door. I'm just waiting. (heheh, quietly)

Met a dear friend today. The guitarist. He does that for a living. He asked me: "You didn't join those who left right?" and ended that with a smile. I returned a smile and said, of course not. We both knew how the story would continue thereafter. Another old friend seated beside said, "It's the same everywhere, same thing, same old trick..." I couldn't agree more. I came to realise that being certain of a decision is never a forced acceptance and then reinforcing it over and over to ascertain a what might have been wrong step. If that was the case, then the initial point of convince was never that convincing to begin with.

In short, you don't have a mind of your own. You borrowed. Easily swayed, persuaded by the words of man, affected by relationships that hold and being tossed and blown about by the waves and winds. It's unfortunate that life has it in a manner and is packaged as such. What makes matters worse is the lack of empowerment for one to move on as an adult and learn responsibile decision making. To top it off, the lack of both self and social awareness can only lead to an adult carrying the same lack into many years of adulthood until such issues are dealt with face to face, internally. Come more, take it like a man and don't sulk.

And so! this marks the end of CNY celebration for me. 2 full days of training plus a free gift: night training! Woohoo! I'm beginning to enjoy this more and more with each passing day. I suspect I'm a closet workaholic. (shhhh, don't tell anyone)

Oh, 1 last thing, don't get angry reading this:
I will likely ignore unconstructive comments on the tagboard as it might be triggered by an angry man, insecured being who felt like his name was subtly mentioned or anything of the like. I'm not in the habit of deleting comments from the tagboard, so be tactful for your own good :)

Allow me to leave you with a song..

I see trees of green...red roses too...I see them bloom...for me and you..

woohoo!