Faith?

Faith is being sure of what we hope for, certain of what we do not see.

I think that sums up the question about faith.

Let's move on.

Over days of pondering, I realised that I can no longer rely on the 'favourites' to do the job and be the miracle plant. Singapore Soccer Team used to depend largely on 'Fandi Ahmad', Manchester United on 'Eric Cantona' and Liverpool on 'Ian Rush'. Goodness, where are they today? Oh, then I saw that we now have new players. These are the defenders of yester years whom I thought couldn't make it or didn't have the flare as much as the above mentioned. Boy I was wrong. Somehow, the manager of the team saw beyond what I did. Attribute that to experience, perhaps foresight. But I reckon it as a leader who is in control.

If I relied on my peers, then I would have died by now. I left my other childhood friend behind, Mr. Slim Ho. We went through nonsense, more nonsense and finally left each other alon... and we grew. I can't say that about myself as I look back into the memories of old and saw how I fashioned what was 'right' in the eyes of man (men). Haha, please do not read too much into this statement, I don't want to start a holy-msn-nick war.

But alas, the truth is out and I choose to want to know the truth. The truth hurts and it's true. If a peer went er and I have to speak it out, it will surely hurt yet it will bring healing if he responds well. What kind of Christianity have I been leading? Well, at least a 10cents coin for the last 8 years. I began to see that it's more than that. It's a 50cents coin.

I'm so glad because it's not too late. It still isn't and I'm not about to let go just because no one is running alongside me. I cannot look to myself because it has proven time and again that it doesn't work. It simply doesn't. Maybe for a while, and then back to square 1. Simply because if I do let go and give it all up, then I'm no different to those who didn't keep their promises. I made promises too. Peoples' errors do not determine my actions. Neither do I blame others for what I'm feeling. I'm no longer a kid. Neither am I some emo-kid that goes around pity-partying. I shouldn't be. Nobody should.

The truth is, there's so much more than just a tiny mountain before me. I have a purpose to fulfill and I'm heading in that direction. God willing, let me run til I cross the finishing line. Let me not dwell on negative thoughts lest I, too, fall trap to the enemy's plans.

Now, that's a real marathon that requires more than mere physical training. Move on, and keep running.

We can no longer run if we keep looking back.