Well rested & glad

3 days.

I would love to post some pictures up but I no longer dare to do so. FEAR. Induced fear. Wldn't want to see my pictures floating somewhere else, especially in handphones.

Prior to the trip, I received an sms. A rather shocking one. A close buddy got into an accident which got him into a pretty bad shape, literally. It was a simple sms with details that spoke loudly to me. It became clearer to me after I made a call and realised he did not contact anyone else within the group of friends.

I started to ponder over the 3 days. 2 years of friendship in a secondary school setting. Another 2 years in the same college but with minimum contact. Thereafter, we were on our own. Yet he was there when I needed help. I went down when he needed support. It takes 2 hands to clap. That sms brought me to understand what it means to have a friend. I mean, everyone has a different definition of a friend and what to expect out of a friendship. But I do have to agree that it does take 2 hands to clap.

A recent comment took me by surprise when one asked if I'm alright because I seemed detached from the usual group of friends. Hmm... maybe because I'm attached?? Hahaha, but that's seriously out of the question. I do have people around me who actively keep me updated about their lives and so do I. I'm glad for such friends.

Perhaps it's a needful rest from after work. Perhaps it's just a lack of involvement by not asking or probing. Perhaps it's a different ball game when what I need now isn't random and mindless chatters. Perhaps I am unable to render a listening ear simply because I'm unaware of situations. While I was 3 years younger & enjoying the liberty of time, I often asked why I couldn't quite connect with those who are working. I guess I can understand now. After a while, it gets no where. Yes, it can carry on with mindless chats and of course, the short and uninitiated conversations. But like I mentioned, it's pointless.

Yet if that's the case, then people after me will also go through the same process if they do grow up. Hmm... eventually, they will have to get here. I can't possibly wait. I guess I need to find a common topic which both can appreciate and walk towards.

I can't wait to catch up with that buddy. He has extended the invitation. How can I not reciprocrate?

Time has not been on my side. I see the need to prioritise. Weekends are precious, so are my weekday evenings. Gosh, I sound like I'm still in the army!

And alas!

The 3 days retreat was great. I am well rested. I felt a little bad for not being at the ES on Sunday, but I shouldn't feel that way. I really shouldn't. Uncle did explain, but the humanistic side says nah... maybe it's a culture dated many years back. Nonetheless, I shall not speak much.

The retreat was gd, necessary. It made things very clear to me. I just needed to take a step back :) happy like bird